Every man reacts differently to this news – some are shocked, some are scared, some are angry, some are surprisingly happy. Many men simply don’t know what to do or where to turn for help.

When you first find out she’s pregnant, you’ll undoubtedly feel a range of emotions. You might feel shocked, scared, confused, or excited – or some mixture of them all. However, the key thing to remember is that emotions are temporary. You don’t want to make any rash decisions in the heat of the moment. Instead, take time to digest the news and what it means.

What is she expecting of you? You need to have a conversation with her to find out what she wants your role to be. Some women appreciate support and guidance, while others need some space to process this news. Talk about what she wants, and make sure to bring up what you feel your role should be as well. Most women would prefer you to be honest about how you feel rather than saying “I’ll support whatever you decide.” This statement can cause her to feel like she’s carrying the burden of the decision alone.

What are her plans for the pregnancy? Does she want to have and parent the baby? Is she considering abortion? Does she want to place the baby in a forever family through adoption? These are questions you’ll need to ask her. You should also figure out your own feelings on the matter. The best way to make an informed decision is by having accurate information on each of your options.

What kind of father do you want to be? If she chooses to keep the baby, you’ll need to think about your role in your child’s life. Research has shown that children who grow up with absent fathers are more likely to drop out of school, be poor, use drugs, and go to jail.

Why should you avoid making a rash decision? If you make a decision quickly, without taking time to consider your options and feelings, you will almost certainly regret it later on. If she just now suspects she’s pregnant or is early in her pregnancy, there is plenty of time to make a decision. Take the time to confirm the pregnancy with an ultrasound before making a decision.